AFINAL...

Steven Ballmer fica no comando da M$!
Ao ver a sua posição ameaçada pelas legiões de ex-fiéis "amigos" amantes da filosofia open-source resolveu contra-atacar com medidas ainda mais radicais. Assim, eis algumas das novas medidas:
1. - Remodelação de todo o mobiliário; (claro, depois de ter arrasado com todas as cadeiras que encontrou pela frente...)
2. - Depois de ter sacado um iPhone a um empregado, o ter atirado ao chão e calcado E posteriormente o ter arremessado à cabeça do infeliz proprietário do mesmo, resolveu oferecer iPhones a todos os empregados que os queiram. Esta resolução não se deveu apenas a um acto de arrependimento mas também devido ao facto de ter visto milhares de vídeos e milhões de fotos sobre o mobilé 7 e em nenhum aparecer o tijolo da M$ a fazer uma chamada. "Só folclore e nem uma única chamada, nem uma única!", proclamava Ballmer nos estertores da última cadeira esmagada;
3. - Tornar Google como motor de busca padrão em todos os IE;
4. - "Dar uma semana de férias ao único engenheiro de software que a M$ tem";
5. - Ai querem enveredar pelo open-source. Então vou mais longe e declaro que a M$ vai ter a sua própria distribuição BSD/Linux dentro dos próximos 12 meses!

Se quanto aos pontos 1, 2 e 3 ainda não é possível obter qualquer confirmação oficial, já quanto aos pontos 4 e 5 não existe qualquer dúvida como se pode ler neste artigo de Jon maddog Hall.

Digno de realce eis algumas partes interessantes do "discurso" de Ballmer:
-"Hey, Free Software is really pretty darn good, I think Microsoft could really make a lot of money with it."

-"This will allow our hardware partners to do all the work of writing device drivers and porting the Linux kernel, yet still allow Microsoft to put in the useless extensions, changes and bloat-ware to the system that will force people to pay Microsoft obscenely large amounts of money for breaking standards,"

-"Who cares about the kernel? If people wanted a fast, stable, scalable operating system they would not have been buying Microsoft products for years."

Fora do discurso directo de Ballmer ficou em aberto o preço deste "OS" e é notório que existem alguns problemas quanto à obtenção do preço final mas, sempre adiantaram que:
- "they were thinking of a multi-tiered pricing model that charged per user, per CPU core, per Gigabyte of memory, per disk drive and somehow also considered a customer's religion and sexual orientation."

MICROSOFT ABRAÇA OPEN SOURCE!!!

Numa surpreendente reviravolta M$ dedica alma e coração ao sofware aberto.
Pode ler o resto aqui.

E numa notícia ainda não confirmada, Steven Ballmer vai ser despedido. Não sem após ter executado uma das habituais macacadas e partido umas cadeiras. Precavendo qualquer crise de camisas suadas, o próprio Bill Gates será o portador da camisa-de-forças anti-suor.
Esta tasca promete notícias frescas assim que obtiver a confirmação.

Numa outra surpreendente notícia, também a confirmar, é dada a informação que o Inferno acabou de congelar.

ELEIÇÃO

Já que falei de humor, elegi esta notícia como a melhor do dia de ontem:

"GREEDMOND, WA -- Bruised, battered, fined, and ridiculed over its fight for OOXML acceptance, Microsoft has decided it's had enough. The company is so angry with ISO that it has decided to form its own standard-setting organization.

"As the world's leading software company, we weren't very happy with the treatment meted out to us by ISO," complains company spokesperson Ican Leek. "ISO is too slow, explicit, and factual. We have several projects in the pipeline that are stalled because ISO likes to give people time to think. This is unacceptable."

Microsoft has now taken it upon itself to show how things are done -- by forming a new standards body. It expects its new body, called League of Extraordinary Standards (LES), to revolutionize computing. "It's the equivalent of Web 2.0 of the standards world, the missing link. With LES we'll do more. We'll connect users and suppliers like never before," says Leek

The company has already started selecting members for the organization. Calling the existing ISO system of selecting national members "corrupt," Microsoft claims its membership guidelines are "fairer to corporate and national users alike." So far Azerbaijan, Belarus, Bosnia and Herzegovina, Congo, Jamaica, and Tunisia have all signed up to be part of LES. "This group represents a healthy cross-section of the computing world," Leek maintains. "This is obviously a more inclusive body than the ISO, which is full of representatives from old-fashioned colonial powers like Norway, Switzerland, Canada, and Sri Lanka."

At a preliminary meeting held earlier this week, members of the new body met at Microsoft headquarters to hammer out a plan of action for the coming months. One of the items discussed was an update to ODF, which runs the risk of losing its status of being a standard when ISO is replaced by LES. But Leek believes ODF can be made compatible with OOXML despite the fact that the ODF developers "didn't leave enough room for innovation."

The new format, tentatively called ODF-PRO, is a "100% free, patented version of the old format that'll be free to use in any operating system as long as its Windows Vista or something more expensive." Calling backwards-compatibility a thing of the past, Leek says the new body is more concerned with interoperability between member countries. "Not all of them begin their week on Sundays," he says, "or use the standard European alphabet we prefer here at Microsoft headquarters. But that's okay. We'll teach them how to get along in the modern IT world, even if we have to give all the representatives free Zune music players and a few thousand shares of Microsoft stock to motivate them."

ÚLTIMA HORA!

Geneva, 1 April 2008. The International Organization for Standardization announced at a press conference that its processes are "broken" and "need radical reform". ISO president Håkan Murby told journalists that "the Microsoft OOXML process was a near-disaster and we want to make sure such a thing never happens again."

Murby outlined three major reforms that he promised would prevent the "near failure of the process" as he described it. First, all national technical committees are to be fully outsourced to Microsoft. Second, new ISO standards would be kept secret until published. Third, all countries that voted "NO" on OOXML would be banned from future participation.

"Technical discussions are wasteful", Murby explained, "since new standards are a matter of political influence, not functionality. ISO takes its duty to its larger customers very seriously and we think this pandering to populism and technocratic mumbo-jumbo is counter to all our interests. We're determined to offer the best value for money. This means making the process faster, cheaper, and less painful."

Gabriel Barta, Technical Officer with the ISO/IEC, said: "with these changes we think a new standard can be processed in only a few weeks. After all, almost none of the bugs found in OOXML will ever be fixed. So really those endless meetings were a waste of everyone's time."

Some commentators have suggested that ISO wants to compete head on with ECMA's Consulting and Public Relations division, which announced record profits in 2007, mainly due to OOXML. ISO insiders have also suggested the organization will move its headquarters to Aruba, for tax reasons and because the music is a lot better.

Mais para ler aqui.